Kick Start Day

Today was… a lot.

I woke up, did my routine, had breakfast, and waited for my appointment — a little excited, honestly, to finally find out whether I have ADHD or not.


In the morning, I glanced through The Mountain Is You. A few lines hit me so deeply that I told myself I’d read the whole book after cleaning the house.


But then, something unexpected happened.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression today. And even though the session was only 45 minutes, I’m not fully convinced a therapist can make such a big diagnosis so quickly.


After that session, I had an incident at home that completely triggered me. My elder sister’s behaviour — something very small on the surface — stirred up so much inside me. She wanted me to do some cleaning. She even booked a maid, so most of the work was already handled. But I just don’t like working alongside a maid who doesn’t know how I prefer things.


Yet somehow, my sister became the villain in my story.

Why?

Why do I get so triggered?

Why does my mind spiral into negative thoughts?

Why does her voice suddenly irritate me so much when I love her deeply as my sibling?


The issue is tiny when you look at it logically. But emotionally, my head feels like it’s about to explode. I don’t understand why I feel this overwhelmed — why I can’t control it, why sadness hits me so fast.


I want to do stuff on my own even if it takes hours,  I don't want people ... I am so ungrateful to blessings people crave for ... I want to enjoy my blessings! Why my mind push me towards negativity , ungratefullnesss


I'll try my best to be the best version who wants to enjoy my blessings before I regret losing them!

 

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